Carpe Diem. "Savour the day"

Carpe Diem. "Savour the day"

When Mum and Dad came to Hong Kong I was shocked at how Dad had aged when he came off the plane at Kai Tak Airport. He looked exhausted and not just from the long flight. He had a walking stick and was shuffling along. They stayed a couple of weeks and we went to a Passing Out Parade at the PTS where Sam and I were both instructors and had drinks in the Officer's Mess. Dad's hip clicked every time he moved. It must have been so painful but he never complained. We visited one of my favourite temples in the New Territories, toured around border stations in the closed area, where I had worked, by Wiktor and visited a brass factory where dad spent up large.

We went to Lantau Island with Sam's parents to visit the Po Lin temple and had vegetarian food. Our parents got on well. Sam's father's story is worthy of a book. His parents died during the Japanese occupation and he was the eldest at 15. He would never talk about his experiences either but some brothers went back to China and were lost but he found two after the war. He taught himself English and after the surrender made himself useful to the British forces as an interpreter and rose to become an engineer in the telephone company. Him and dad got on like a house on fire. Fay said dad thought Hong Kong was a highlight of his life although he never told me. He bought a blue silk cotton padded Chairman Mao coat all Chinese wore. They had detachable white collars for washing. He wore it around home and  thought he was King Farouk. On their last night in HK dad and I sat around in companionable silence having a whiskey. My parents never told me what to do or tried to change my mind. We knew we were responsible for our own destiny. They didn't need to tell us they loved us and were proud of us. We knew that too.

Margo and I stormed towards Bluff sometimes with Jojo on her electric bike but she blew us off. We stopped in the bushes by the estuary for a pee. 

On the run in to Bluff a vehicle stopped and a man wearing his Big Brevet medallion got out. We didn't know him but he and his family offered us hearty congratulations and encouragement. He had just finished. At the end there were other riders already there with their support crew and families. Even tourists were in awe of our efforts and excited. It was impossible not to be happy and excited. It seems unbelievable how far we have ridden. It is a blur. We took photos and I tried to post everyone who offered donations or support and am proud to have raised just over $2,000 for Arthritis NZ. Next time maybe I will be better organized and raise more?

The last time I spoke to my father on the phone he told me he felt like ending his life. He was miserable and in pain constantly. I was shocked and didn't know what to say but suggested he join the RSA bowling Team.  My family had shielded me from his condition because how could I possibly help or begin to understand? I learned, during this trip that he had tried to end his life weeks earlier before he did. A few weeks later I made a long trip home for his funeral after waiting days for a flight because the direct flights were only twice a week.

Mum tearfully told us she had begged the doctor to change his medication but it didn't happen and the family doctor couldn't look at her when he came to certify the death.

I spoke to the two ministers who were going to officiate and said perhaps we could talk about mentioning the circumstances of his death but suicide was a crime against God and not spoken of. I never spoke at his funeral but am making amends now. I supported my dear mother. Dad had cleared the ground and at least told me. Mum and Dad were living alone but the last time he saw one sister he asked her to take special care of mum.  Of course she would she said, looking after mum in her last years as she still lived in the same home, passing away at 96.

The church was full to overflowing. I never realized Dad had so many friends.

I returned to HK. Ken my best buddy and roommate from Trentham days kindly came down to see me at Wellington Airport but I didn't have the heart to tell him how Dad had died, and as is the way of the world life continued and we soon had our first daughter Jade.  I can see my parents in all my children and am very proud of them. I'm looking forward to getting home to see them.

I realise writing this that I am not that much different to my father. We both shared a secret sadness, mine for his loss but his much greater than mine.

This is my tribute to my father.  He loved the tales of the Antarctic explorers, Scott and Shackelton and Mawsom (Scott perished the year my father was born. ) My romantic notion is that the Pole was my father's journey's end as the Maori spirit is at the northern end where my journey began. I like to imagine his spirit soaring albatross free over these southern oceans.

This journey has been such a celebration of life. Everyone cycling has been filled with excitement and friendship vigour, determination, steely resolve and above all the joy of life. It makes me glad to be alive surrounded by people I love and who love me.

Thank you for your contributions. Arthritis is a terrible condition as is depression. Talk to people, listen and be kind. I know I'm going to try to be better at those things, thanks to this amazing journey: stitching up the highways of my heart.